Introduction

So far in the letter Paul has addressed the Colossian church as a whole. Now he begins to address various groups within the church. Now we will see later that the three relational categories are actually to be taken together. That is, Paul’s words to wives and husbands do not have their real force except when taken with his words to children and parents and slaves and masters. However, for the sake of studying Paul’s words, we will consider the three relational categories individually and only at the end bring them together.

Wives and Husbands

Paul begins with words to wives. It is important to note that he does not have women in general in mind but only those women who are married. The subordination is wife to husband and not women to men. Paul adds the phrase “as is fitting in the Lord.” Does it mean that the subordination is fitting in the Lord? Or does it mean that wives are to be subject to their husbands in a manner that is fitting in the Lord? I think Paul means the latter.

Husbands are told to love their wives and not to treat them harshly. The latter phrase literally would read “and do not be embittered toward them.” According to Roman law a husband had the legal right to force his will on his wife. However, this would not win the love and respect of the wife as a result of which the husband might become bitter toward her. Paul urges the husbands to win the love and respect of their wives by loving them and not by using their legal rights.

Children and Parents

Paul then addresses the children and asks them to obey their parents in everything. This he says is their acceptable duty in the Lord. It goes back to the commandment to honor father and mother which is the only one of the ten commandments that is directly attached to a blessing.

Now in v. 20 Paul uses the general word for parents while in v. 21 he uses the word for father. This, we will see, has implications when we bring everything together. Paul’s command to the fathers is quite vague. Paul does not want the children to lose heart. Lose heart with respect to what? Paul never writes about our general feelings and thoughts. Rather, everything is related to being in Christ. So we should conclude that even here Paul has the notion of being in Christ in mind. In other words, the fathers are to deal tactfully with their children so that the children will not have only the appearance of faith but true faith.

Slaves and Masters

Paul addresses the slaves next and urges them to serve their masters in everything with true service. They are to view whatever they do as done for Jesus. The reason is that they have been promised an inheritance. Now according to Roman law a slave could not own anything nor receive an inheritance. So Paul’s reasoning shows the difference between Roman law and the promises we have in Jesus.

Finally, Paul addresses the masters and asks them to treat their slaves justly and fairly. Paul, in fact, issues somewhat of a threat. He tells them that they should treat their slaves justly and fairly because the masters are themselves slaves of Jesus. That is, if the masters want their master to treat them justly and fairly, they should treat their slaves justly and fairly.

The Household

Now the three relational categories each have two groups. The one Paul addresses first is the subordinate. The one he addresses second is the superior. Similar instructions with the same three categories are found in the writings of Aristotle, the Greek philosopher, and Seneca, the Roman statesmen, among others. This indicates that Paul is not coming up with something absolutely new. What is new is that the instructions are related to Jesus and not to each person’s virtues.

The household in those days was not a nuclear family. In those days a household contained the building blocks for a healthy society. To flourish a society needs selfless love and procreation—here represented by the wife-husband relationship. It needs proper nurturing and hope for the future—here represented by the child-parent relationship. It needs the proper use of power and a responsible work ethic—here represented by the slave-master relationship.

Now a male head of the household could be at once a husband, a father, and a master. But no one could be a wife, a child, and a slave at the same time. In other words, the more roles of power you have, the more urgent it is that you act as a Christian. This is important. What Paul is concerned about is not the relationships on their own because the relationships are inter-related. It is incorrect to compartmentalize life. So a man cannot expect his wife to be subject to him if he drives his children to despair or works his slaves to death. Each relationship impacts the others.

In conclusion, Paul urges Christians to behave in such a manner that regardless of their status they are a transforming presence in society. He relates everything to Jesus because it is only in so far as we act by virtue of our being in Christ that this transformation can take place.