“When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to her, ‘Woman, here is your son,’ and to the disciple, ‘Here is your mother.’ From that time on, this disciple took her into his home.” (John 19.26-27)

Jesus has been crucified and his battered and bruised body is straining against the nails that hold him to the cross. Some people taunted him, reminding him of how he had saved others and challenged him to come down from the cross so that they could believe in him. What would that have accomplished?

Well, for one thing, he would have been been there to take care of his mother! Mary was at the foot of the cross, watching in agony as the life drained from her son. Given the lack of references to Joseph in the Gospels after Jesus began his ministry, it is quite likely that Joseph had died prior to this – perhaps when Jesus was still a boy. To him, as the eldest son, had fallen the responsibility, in that patriarchal society, of caring for the family – his mother and sisters and brothers. And if he came down from the cross, he could resume that responsibility. He could once again care for his mother.

But that would mean turning his back on the task set for him by his Father. It seemed that he had to choose between the will of his Father and caring for his mother. A difficult choice in any circumstances and Jesus was on the cross!

And Jesus saw his mother. What was she thinking? Did she think back on the prophecies of Simeon and Anna when Jesus had first come to the Temple? They had spoken of how a sword would pierce through Mary’s own heart. Surely this was the occasion they were speaking of. All the other instances when Jesus hadn’t fit her expectations paled into insignificance in the face of this atrocity before her. What was she to do? Soon her son would breathe his final breath and she would be completely distraught. She had borne him into the world and now her world was being torn away from her. Jesus would have seen the despair in her eyes. Those eyes that had always loved him would now have reflected the emptiness of death. How could he leave her like this?

But Jesus, creative as he always is, saw a solution. Mary was not alone at the foot of the cross. The disciple he loved was also there. What was this disciple thinking? (The Gospel does not identify the disciple, but Church tradition has held that it is John who, though a prominent figure in the other Gospels, is not named in this one.) Some years back he had been fishing with his brother when Jesus strode along and called him to be his disciple. He had left everything then to follow Jesus. But never in his most bizarre nightmares did he see anything close to what was before him. This Jesus, in whose love John had lost himself to such an extent that he could only refer to himself in terms of that love, hung from a brutal cross, the life slowly draining from his body along with his blood. Jesus would have seen the horror in his eyes. Those eyes that had received his love with joy were now forlorn with anguish. How could he leave him like this?

And so he does not leave either of them without someone as support. He entrusts his mother to this disciple he loved and entrusts him to her. Why? Easter was less than two days away. Why did he have to entrust them to each other? We, who live on this side of Easter, know that it was less than two days away. But neither Mary nor John knew it. For both of them, this was the end of the Jesus they had known and loved. Perhaps the two of them needed the support of each other even if only for the crucial next two days. Since Jesus entrusted them to each other from the cross, this became his dying wish and neither of them would have taken it lightly. And so because they had each other there was less room for despair. They had to hang on because of the other – Mary because of John and John because of Mary.

Jesus’ wisdom here is remarkable. Most of us cannot boast such wisdom even when we are in a good situation. And Jesus was on a cross! Yet he realized the need for both Mary and John to not sink into the despair brought on by a relationship that had prematurely ended. And so he gives both of them a new relationship with a new purpose. This is not a denial of the ending of their relationship with Jesus nor a minimization of its importance nor a rejection of the loss they are experiencing. Rather, this is a redirection of grief toward another similarly grieving person so that the shared grief can be experienced but not allowed to dominate. Jesus does this because he knows that, as persons created by relationship for relationship, we can find the hope of justice only in relationship.

Prayer:

Almighty, loving Father. You created us to be in relationship with you and with each other. We see Jesus recognizing this truth even on the cross when he commits Mary and John to each other. Enable us, in this increasingly fragmented world, to recognize that your justice involves the healing of all our relationships. We pray that, as Jesus, even while on the cross, did not forget that humans were made for relationship, so also we would not minimize the importance of relationship in our lives – relationship with you and with others made in your image. In the name of Jesus. Amen.